I thought I’d never say this again, but sometimes, I just feel so empty. I feel like I’m dead and it affects me so that I take deep breaths and consciously inhale and exhale air to make sure that I’m still alive. And if I’m not satisfied, I think of something really sad, or listen to the most heartbreaking songs and just cry, cry until I feel down enough that my heart hurts.
A few years ago, I had gone to the point of trying to cut myself just to feel alive. But now, all I can do is cry, because I realized I could never kill myself or cut myself enough to fill the emptiness.
No matter how happy one is, once emptiness hits you, you’ll never be able to run away from it. It lurks in the dark and when unaware, when you’ve got a
stoic expression about you, it strikes, takes out all the feelings you have and murders you until you’re almost dead.
I went through my other blog and decided to repost some of the interesting things I wrote there. This one was posted last April 24, 2010.