The Curse of Living

There’s so much to live for but sometimes, when things just keep going downhill, you just want to throw in the towel and quit fulfilling the many roles you play in this world. But even though you really want to, you can’t. No, you’re inner self won’t let you and it just becomes a pain for the mind. A constant battle within yourself: your emotional side saying to quit and your rational self saying not to quit. Will a decision ever be made? There should be but you’re tired. Your heart is tired. Your mind is tired. Tired of constantly having to do everything. Tired of constantly having to endure. Tired of constantly having to rationalize and ignore the self’s plea to be selfish. Let others be. Let them deal with their own challenges. Stop helping. Stop enduring. But no, you can’t. There’s just no way you can be too tired to be selfless, to endure, to fulfill your roles, to live. Then you realize it’s a curse. Living is a curse. And you can’t wait for death to come and take you at the right moment, when no one else needs you and everything is set for everyone you care about. Even if you have to wait until you’re old and wrinkly, or you’re in a hospital bed slowly dying of some stage 4 cancer.

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